The Disease to Please: Break Free From People Pleasing

Apr 14, 2025
3 min read

Overcoming the Disease to Please: A Biblical Perspective

Have you ever found yourself saying yes when you really wanted to say no? Or overextending yourself just to avoid disappointing someone? Maybe you’ve compromised your peace, your time, or even your values because you feared what others might think. If so — you’re not alone.

This constant craving for approval is what many call “the disease to please.” And like any disease, it robs us of health — emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes even physically. But as believers, we aren’t called to live for the applause of people. We’re called to live for the approval of God.

What Is the Disease to Please?

It’s an exhausting cycle of people-pleasing rooted in fear of rejection, desire for validation, and misplaced identity. It convinces us that our worth hinges on other people’s opinions and acceptance. But here’s the good news — God’s Word offers a way out.

The Bible on People-Pleasing

The Bible speaks directly to the trap of people-pleasing and the freedom we find when we shift our focus to God:

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”— Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

Paul’s bold words remind us that we can’t fully serve Christ and be enslaved to public opinion at the same time. When we seek God’s approval, people’s opinions lose their grip.

Why Do We Struggle With This?

Fear of Rejection: We fear that saying no, setting boundaries, or disappointing others will lead to rejection.
Misplaced Identity: When our identity is based on how others perceive us rather than who we are in Christ, we become easy targets for people-pleasing.
Comparison Culture: In today’s world, we often measure our worth by how well we keep up or fit in.

But Jesus set a different example. He loved people, but He didn’t live for their approval. He disappointed religious leaders, offended the masses, and walked away from crowds when necessary — all while remaining perfectly in step with the Father’s will.

Freedom Found in God’s Approval

People-pleasing puts us in bondage, but trusting God sets us free.

You are already accepted.“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you.”— John 15:16 (NIV)

You don’t have to earn your worth. God chose you, loved you, and appointed you for a purpose.

You’re called to serve, not perform.“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”— Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Our audience is an audience of One. When we live for God’s glory instead of man’s praise, our souls find rest.

Fear of man is a trap.“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”— Proverbs 29:25 (NIV)

Practical Steps to Break Free

1. Recognize the Pattern Notice when you’re agreeing to something out of fear, guilt, or the need for validation.

2. Renew Your Mind Replace lies like “I have to keep everyone happy” with truth like “I am responsible to God first.” Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2)

3. Practice Saying No (Gracefully) Healthy boundaries are biblical. Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds to pray (Luke 5:16). It’s okay to say no.

4. Anchor Your Worth in Christ Daily remind yourself of your identity:Chosen. Loved. Called. Approved by God.

Final Thoughts

Friend, you don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to fear their disappointment or live for their applause. You are enough because Christ is enough in you.

Lay down the burden of people-pleasing, and pick up the peace that comes from living for God’s approval alone. That’s where true freedom is found.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?”— Psalm 27:1 (NIV)

You were made for more than the exhausting cycle of trying to keep everyone happy. You were made for a purpose and for peace in Christ.

If you need support in your journey to overcoming the disease to please, check out the Coaching Section.